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Wednesday, October 26, 2005

[[a typical day???]]

ok, so today's starts out a typical day, get up shower, go to work, and to my surprise there are 3(three), yes i said 3 extra floor people, so j~* and i get on the e.o. list. (for the very few not in the casino business that means you get an early out, and can go home). YIPPIE!!! beautiful day, suns shining, talking about going fishing, and then we arrive home. hmmmm.... some strange car is in the drive way, well when we get all the way up to the house we see that its a friend of "the baby gurl's" big sister's car, and a little chevy truck was parked on the road.
ok thats odd, its 1p.m. and they are SUPPOSE to be at school. i immediately get a really bad feeling, almost sick to my stomach. i tell j~* "you go in first, i can't". so he does. i wait a second..............
then i take a deep breath and go in behind him. at this time i hear "you had better get out of my house before i kill you" and a very, very scared boy (as well he should have been) comes running out of my daughters bedroom, carrying his shoes and holding his pants up.
my heart drops, i think i'm going to be sick, when i turn the corner and see that, its the friend, not "the baby". ok i'm still upset, who do they think they are? so, the "other girls" sister is asleep in my son's room (who IS at school) and "the baby" is asleep.
once j~* reads them the riot act, he tells the "older sister and the X friend" to leave and do not ever come back!!! i agree whole heartedly. i have thought she was trouble from day one, but you know teenagers have to learn there own lessons.
my daughter is beside herself, she is terribly disappointed in herself. i told her that, that was a lesson too. she had taken my trust away, and until further notice she was grounded. no friends, no phone, no nothing.
what kills me about the skipping school is i've never been a hard ass. when she doesn't feel good, or just under the weather, i'm not a slave driver we always weight the pros and cons, and if she can afford to miss a day its ok.
we've had the "sex" talk. i guess maybe i'm nieve but i believe her when she says she hasn't done anything. she couldn't believe that her friend was doing anything in her bed. (and the bed clothes are in the dryer as we speak) i love her so much, i know shes got a million things to go thru being a teenager. i just want her to be able to talk to me. its like i told her its not about just getting pregnant anymore. you can DIE from it.....
i feel sorry for the other girls mother, we did the parent thing and went and told her what her daughter had done, she couldn't believe it. she got on the phone and told them to come home. when they did, all they did was cop an attitude with her, told her that nothing happened. j~* stood dumbfounded. he said " i saw what happened" and she just shrugged him off, as if he wasn't there. i couldn't believe how rude they were. her mother was beside herself. and they didn't care. they really didn't care.
i thank goodness, at least my kids don't treat me that way.
but don't get me wrong... shes still in a BUTTLOAD of trouble.....

[[Lorrellie Walks Alone On This Endless Road]]*|7:40 PM|

[[Nowhere Fast]]

Will I ever get to
to where it is that I am going
will I ever follow through with what I
with what I have planned
I guess it's possible
that I have been a bit distracted
and the directions for me
are a lot less in demand
in demand

Will I ever get to where I'm going
if I do will I know when I'm there?
if the wind blew me in the right direction, yeah
would I even care?
I would

I take a look around
it's evident the scene has changed
and there are times when I feel improved
improved upon the past
and there are times when I
can't seem to understand at all
and yes it seems as though I'm going
nowhere really fucking fast
nowhere fast

Will I ever get to where I'm going
if I do will I know when I'm there?
if the wind blew me in the right direction, yeah
would I even care?
I would

[[Lorrellie Walks Alone On This Endless Road]]*|4:36 PM|

Sunday, October 23, 2005

[[Now Showing]]

Art by Paul...

Artists on Central
2256 Central Ave
Memphis, TN
is showing
NudesFeaturing the
artwork of Paul Clements
Oct 1 thru Oct 31

check out paul's site

art by paul

think i'm gonna drop by the galery myself :)

[[Lorrellie Walks Alone On This Endless Road]]*|10:31 PM|


i watch as my life slips...
each day, hour, minute
is it time?
is it over?
where did it go?
you disappoint me,
or maybe i disappoint,
not as strong as i would like,
not as strong as i was,
why do i let
people walk
all over me?
searching to find
the truth,
it has to be there......

[[Lorrellie Walks Alone On This Endless Road]]*|12:20 AM|

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

[[happy new year...another long post]]

Happy New Year!!!
ok its MY new year, Samhain (halloween)

The Last Harvest. The Earth nods a sad farewell to the God. We know that He will once again be reborn of the Goddess and the cycle will continue. This is the time of reflection, the time to honor the Ancients who have gone on before us and the time of 'Seeing" (divination). As we contemplate the Wheel of the Year, we come to recognize our own part in the eternal cycle of Life.
In ancient times, the Celtic people celebrated the seasons of the year with annual festivals. The festival of Samhain (pronounced Sow-en) was the most sacred of these festivals and it lasted for three days. The modern Halloween celebration has its roots in this Celtic celebration. It was a time for honoring the ancestors (like the Day of the Dead) and a time for celebrating the final harvest and the preparations for winter. It was called "the time of no time and the place of no place," a break in the Celtic calendar year where the rules were temporarily suspended (like the modern Mardi Gras). Folks dressed up in costumes, danced, feasted, played games, lit bonfires, and perpetrated innocent pranks. Children were allowed to go begging for treats at the neighbors' homes. It was the final big party before the quiet of winter descended. In the evenings, things calmed, and people gathered together to remember their departed loved ones in the land of eternal youth called Tir Na Nog, often dishing up plates of food for them at the evening meal, or setting up an ancestor altars with mementos from their lives. The Celts believed that the veil between the material world and the spiritual one was thinnest at this time of the year, so sacred communion with those who had gone before was common during Samhain.

Some Wiccans use a chant (or a prayer if you would rather call it that) at the beginning of the Feast to welcome their ancestors.One of these, for example goes like this:

And so it is, we gather again,
The feast of our dead to begin.
Our Ancients, our Ancestors we invite,
Come!And follow the setting of the sun.
Whom do we call? We call them by name
(Name your ancestor that you wish want to welcome.)
The Ancients have come! Here with us stand
Where ever the country, where ever the land
They leave us not, to travel alone;
Flesh of our flesh, bone of our bone!
Grandmothers, Grandfathers, Great be their Power!
Past ones and present-at this very hour!
Welcome within are the dead who are kin,
Feast here with us and rest here within
Our hearth is your hearth and welcome to thee;
Old tales to tell and new visions to see

[[Lorrellie Walks Alone On This Endless Road]]*|10:38 PM|

Monday, October 17, 2005

[[once upon a lullaby...]]

once upon a lullaby,
i loved you,
i still do..

[[Lorrellie Walks Alone On This Endless Road]]*|4:15 AM|

[[back to insomnia...]]

well here it is, 3:50am, again and i find myself with no sleep. i truly feel lost. i had the most lousy weekend. i went to see my mom. i love my mother SOOOO much. she is about the best person to ever walk the face of this earth, she is kind, gentle, loving, she has true concern for the people of this world, and the heartaches so many go threw. shes always been very environmentally conscience, even before it was "cool" to be so. she has the most wonderful singing voice i have ever heard, yes, she truly sounds like an angel when she sings. i owe my talent, and so many other things to her. she is an exceptional women. she did instill guilt in to me, though, she did a REAL good job of that.
well now this wonderful person has Alzheimer's and i'm watching on a day to day basis as she slowly slips away. its so odd, this disease takes a person away from you a little at a time, until they start becoming someone you've never known. and even worse, you'll never know again. i know the day is quickly approaching when my brother and i are going to have to put my mother in some sort of nursing home, or assisted living home, she is getting to where she won't do the very basic things she needs to do for herself. i had to make her eat and take a bath, it was worse than dealing with a small child. when your children are little you can just pick them up and put them in the bath, not so easy with a grown women. as i'm sure you can figure out. my up bringing tells me i shouldn't "talk back" to my mother, yet if i'm not VERY firm with her, i can't get her to do anything. what do you do? how do you cope? i find myself slipping back into the familiar feeling of despair. i know its only a matter of time until shes not here with me anymore. have i done all i can to help her live some quality of life? have i done anything? does she even know?
i love her so much.
all the things that happened with my dad (he was a raging alcoholic), when i was a child, she kept it all together, she was so strong. i miss her....

[[Lorrellie Walks Alone On This Endless Road]]*|3:50 AM|

Thursday, October 13, 2005

[[think about this.. just for fun :)]]

If Hollywood made a movie about your life, whom would you like to see play the lead role as you? cast your friends.....
i'm thinking about it :)

[[Lorrellie Walks Alone On This Endless Road]]*|12:02 AM|

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

[[this country was based on "Freedom"......]]

this country was based on "Freedom of Religion". has anyone studied history???? Lans (the imfamous X husband, and the last time i refer to him as such since you all know his name, and yes its spelled right) sent me this in an e-mail and asked "did it infuriate me as much as it did him?" well i have to say YES!!! read on...

The Supreme Court rejected an appeal onTuesday from a Wiccan priestess angry that local leaders would not let her open their sessions with a prayer.

Instead, clergy from more traditional religions were invited to pray at governmental meetings in Chesterfield County, Va., a suburb of Richmond.

Simpson sued and initially won before a federal judgewho said the county's policy was unconstitutional because it stated a preference for a set of religious beliefs.

Simpson lost at the 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, which found that the county had changed its policy and directed clerics to avoid invoking the name of Jesus.

Lawyers for Cynthia Simpson had told justices in afiling that most of the invocations are led by Christians. Simpson said she wanted to offer ageneralized prayer to the "creator of the universe.

"The county (GOI: Government) "issues invitations to deliver prayers to all Christian, Muslim, and Jewish religious leaders in the country. It refuses to issue invitations to Native Americans, Hindus, Buddhists,Sikhs, Wiccans, or members of any other religion,"justices were told in her appeal by American Civil Liberties Union lawyer Rebecca Glenberg.

GOI: I don't get this decision on several points.First, This Simpson lady said she wanted to offer ageneralized prayer to the "creator of the universe."She was clearly in keeping with the counties policy that "directed clerics to avoid invoking the name ofJesus."

Second, It seems obvious to me that the county should either allow a different religion to pray every time or not offer a prayer at all but then again maybe that makes too much sense. I just happen to be a Buddhist and I guess my religion is not a "traditional religion" despite the tradition of Buddhism being older then Christianity (scratches head).

we are sooooooooo in trouble........ (now i'm not only sad, but scared)

[[Lorrellie Walks Alone On This Endless Road]]*|10:33 PM|

Saturday, October 08, 2005

[[i AM crazy!!!!]]

ok its offical i have lost my mind, i am having a party for my soon to be (monday, october 10th) 14 year old daughter tonight. i've had 5 screaming teenage girls in my house since last night. and not one of the wants to help me with anything !!!!! (told you i am crazy). i am so tired i can't see straight and its only 4:30pm and the party doesn't start until 7:00pm.... jeeze..... i would go and take a nap but i think they might burn the house down. wish me luck... and for those of you who are coming to keep me company after work. HURRY UP!!!!!!!!!!! (please:)

[[Lorrellie Walks Alone On This Endless Road]]*|4:40 PM|

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

[[work sucks!!!!!!]]

today at work, they called me up to pit 1, they had a write up for me, seems they haven't had my FMLA paperwork and i was getting written up for 7 call ins. well i tell them i'm not signing it, i had it renewed in july, july 10th to be exact. today is october 5, and i just now find out about it?
the girl (terri) up stairs tells me, well i went to benifits on august 14th and they said your fmla was no longer valid, ok, so why do i just find out today? anyone? well i have an idea she is a (not very nice person), it would seem to me if one of my employes called in, and was no longer eligable i would at least let them know. no, they wait till i have enough call ins to write me up? why would i call in if i KNEW i DIDN'T have FMLA????? duh!!!!!!!!!!! i am so pissed i can't see straight. so i call my doctor, and find out that they forgot to send it. ok again, people make mistakes, and the doctor tells me she will write a letter telling my work that it was a horrible over sight.
so i go to benifits and they tell me, it doesn't matter, its my responsiblity to keep up with it and i'm still in trouble.
ok, just so everyone knows, i'm not signing anything, this is not my fault and i feel the only reason it came up now is that its evaluation time, and they can't cut my raise any other way.
may not have a job in the next couple of weeks. not going to put up with the crap. i am tired of putting up with crap.....
gonna cut it out of my life.

[[Lorrellie Walks Alone On This Endless Road]]*|7:28 PM|

Monday, October 03, 2005

[[3 things]]

ok guys this is how this goes!!! everyone has to copy and paste this on there blog and answer the questions for yourself!!!
(i will Hound you if you don't!!! hehe)
and don't forget to check out the "Moon" post!!!

3 names I go by: Mom, Donna, Lorrellie,
3 Physical Things I like about myself: Eyes, Smile, Nipples (new jewelery)
3 Parts of my heritage: Irish, Scottish, and English
3 Things I'm wearing right now: "bad kitty" t-shirt, cut-offs, and flipflops
3 favorite bands: kansas, journey, styx, in high school. black crows, fuel, incubus, puddle of mudd, nickleback, and greenday now, who knows could go on and on....(oh wait you said three)
3 favorite songs: OMG anything alternative rock. (and anything by the groups listed above!!)
3 things i want in a relationship: Kindness, Laughter, Love
3 Physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to me: Smile, Eyes,and Shoulders
3 Favorite Hobbies: sca, music, and eq2
3 Things I want to do badly right now: run far, far away, make all the hurt leave, and make my kids happy.... eat
3 Things that scare me: Never letting down the wall, Failure and everyone knowing.... being alone
3 of my everyday essentials: Music, My kids, Laughter
3 careers you have considered: Professional singer, Teacher, Doctor
3 Places you want to go on vacation: Australia, Tuscany, Scottland
3 Kids names you like: Ry, Shane, Jennifer
3 Things you want to do before you die: Kiss a dolphin, Travel over seas, Sing in front of a really big audiance
3 Ways I'm stereotypically a girl: Pedicures/Manicures, Romance, flowers!
3 Ways I'm stereotypically a boy: Mostly don't care about hair/make-up, love boy clothes, listen to Hard Rock
3 Celebrity Crushes: Joseph Phines, Brandon Boyd, Brandon Lee

[[Lorrellie Walks Alone On This Endless Road]]*|2:36 PM|

[[new skin??]]

ok what about this one? its a little less crowded. just messing with it right now.
will write more later :)

[[Lorrellie Walks Alone On This Endless Road]]*|1:20 PM|

[[*The Fading Soul*]]

My name is Lorrellie.
No one really knows me.
Hell, I don't even know myself.
I wish I did...
I'm quite lost.

[[*My Adores*]]

People:My kids [[Amber and Ry]] My Friends: Jenn, Sari & Suzi

[[*My Favorite Links*]]

**[[Lorr's MySpace]]**

Lorr's 43 things
The Barony of Grey Niche
Hand of Valor (Guild Leader)

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"Lots of people talk to animals," said Pooh. "Not that many listen though." "That's the problem."

[[*My Fun Stuff*]]

angry bunnies
foamy the squirrel


The current mood of lorrellie at
The Humanity vs. Anarchy Project - which word will you choose?

[[*My Detests*]]

People:Mean,Ugly (for no reason)
Food:Tomatos.. YUK

[[*My Past Memories*]]

|July 2005|August 2005|September 2005|October 2005|November 2005|December 2005|January 2006|February 2006|March 2006|April 2006|July 2006|August 2006|September 2006|March 2007|April 2007

[[*The Conversations*]]

*HUGS* TOTAL! give lorrellie more *HUGS*
Get hugs of your own

What is your weird quotient? Click to find out!

[[*My Friends*]]

Enlighten Up
Jenn Thinks
spaghetti logic
mind beast
art by paul
a cat named pi
time out for sari
"The Band!!"
[A Druid's Path]

The WeatherPixie

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Lilith is the ancient Sumerian goddess, (and predecessor to Adam and Eve), the first feminist and liberationist, boldly helps us to stand up for what we believe in, unbridled and courageous no matter what the cost.
Lilith inspires us not to judge our opposite sex, to respect them as our equal, and to nurture equality in our environment.
Reconnect with Lilith at

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