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Wednesday, July 19, 2006

[[not that anyone reads it]]

not that anyone reads this anymore, but i guess thats ok, its sorta therapeutic for me.
i have become to hate doctor's. once in a life time you find a good one and then there are a 1000 more you have to go thru to find another. i miss Dr. Dana Nash she was the best ever!!! she decided to take a break for awhile.
i went today and had a check up. get my regular meds filled by a doctor someone had recommended. i walked in the doctors office and the first thing i thought was, you need to leave. but, i know i can be paranoid so i thought that was talking.
those who know me know i'm over weight, so you know the first thing the harp on is my weight, i understand its not good for you, but i've been on every diet known to man, and lost weight just to gain it back plus some.
so this "new" doctor tells me my Cholesterol (no idea how to spell it) has to be horrible. and asks if i have diabetes and does it run in my family (no it doesn't).
so she takes 4 hugh vial's of blood. takes my blood pressure and is shocked, its 120/70. well takes it again cause that can't be right. she sends my blood work to the lab. she finds my Cholesterol is 180, my blood sugar is 70. so she sits there with her mouth open and doesn't know what else to say. the only thing she finds is that i'm Anemic. (duh, i already told her that) she does manage to say that i need to see a psychiatrist to deal with my depression, because i have been depressed for to long, ( really??? i didn't know that.)
she asked me what was going on with my life and i summarized. and at that point the one thing she said was "well you know how men are, just get over it"
then i was told to see the front desk to pay my bill, i waited, and waited and waited. 45minutes later, after waiting to pay. i left. i know it was wrong, but i was so agitated.
why won't they just give me the meds i need and let me go...
its such a racket. or at least i think so.

anyway i think this is so sweet....
"When the first baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies." Peter Pan, act 1

love to all,

[[Lorrellie Walks Alone On This Endless Road]]*|10:08 PM|

Thursday, July 13, 2006

[[not a hugh country fan, but....]]

i'm not a hugh country fan, but there are occasions when i run into a song or two that really moves me...
these remind me of my dearest loves,
Ry and Amber...

In My Daughter's Eyes(Martina McBride)

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me
strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there In my daughter's eyes

Lullaby (Dixie Chicks)

They didn't have you where I come from
Never knew the best was yet to come
Life began when I saw your face
And I hear your laugh like a serenade
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough Cause I'm never, never giving you up
I slip in bed when you're asleep
To hold you close and feel your breath on me
Tomorrow there'll be so much to do
So tonight I'll drift in a dream with you
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough

[[Lorrellie Walks Alone On This Endless Road]]*|2:37 AM|

Monday, July 10, 2006

[[a long time past]]

i know its been a long time since i have posted. i think about it everyday. my life has been so turned upside down i wanted to be able to post something on a happier note, but alas, i don't have anything to say.
i hate being such a downer all the time, i hate whats happened to my life, and i hate having miagraines every single day. stress sucks!!!! i have thought, alot about ways out.....

[[Lorrellie Walks Alone On This Endless Road]]*|7:05 PM|

[[*The Fading Soul*]]

My name is Lorrellie.
No one really knows me.
Hell, I don't even know myself.
I wish I did...
I'm quite lost.

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Lilith is the ancient Sumerian goddess, (and predecessor to Adam and Eve), the first feminist and liberationist, boldly helps us to stand up for what we believe in, unbridled and courageous no matter what the cost.
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