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Monday, July 25, 2005

[[last night i cried.........]]

last night i cried.........

last night i cried...... a very good friend of mine is very sick, this thursday he starts chemo, intense chemo, for the next 10 days, then when they have killed ALL is white blood cells, they will give him a bone marrow transplant. hes got about a 70% chance of it taking, but if it doesn't, theres nothing left for the doctors to do.....
as i read an e-mail from him, he told me to keep my soul well, to continue to smile, because no mater what i thought, my smile was very contagious to all those who meet me and makes any place i am, a better place to be. he ended by telling me he hoped to see me again in this life, but if not, he would see me again someday..............
as i read the words he had wrote, i thought to myself, this isn't real, it can't be, hes one of the smartest, wittiest, best people i have ever known.
how do you let someone go? i can't, or won't just yet.....
but i do know i time will come that, i won't have a choice. i guess thats part of my problem now, my father passed away last year and i'm still mad at him for leaving me all alone, until the day he died, i felt like no mater what i do he would always be there to take care of me, now? i feel like a lost child most of the time, like i'm just going through the motions of everyday life, waiting to be rescued.....

[[Lorrellie Walks Alone On This Endless Road]]*|8:01 PM|

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