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Thursday, July 28, 2005

[[ramblings of a crazed white women.....]]

ramblings of a crazed white women.....

is that concidered palgerism? oh well, not my intend. incoherent thoughts always seem to run the pathways of my mind. i've always been so envious of people who could write, (and spell, just to let you know now, i can't spell anything...oh you've already figured that out, huh?) and everything they wrote came out quite eloquently. how do you do that?
being a singer, i always wanted to write my own lyrics, and i'll be damned if i can. the music comes quite easy, but the words just aren't there. maybe someday the words will come... but then again probably not. so until that time i ramble long streams of conciousness that links subject to subject with no apperant thread.
that sorta sums of my life.

thoughts of my blog have been clouding my mind for the last few weeks, trying to figure out where to start, but i guess there is really no "good" start place. some of my problem has been just how much i want to open up and talk about, so much in my life i keep to myself, but i'm not stupid as some would think, i do know that others know things in my life that i won't talk about. i don't know if its just embarressment or if i actually say the words it will make it true. (ok, once again i know they're already true, its my way of hiding my head in the sand)

work sucked today, my pit boss was in such a pissy mood, he's having personal problems, now don't get me wrong, i am no stranger to those, (who is?) but i don't go to work and take them out on others. if i did, i would be mad ALL THE TIME!!!!! ok, so i am mad alot, but i keep it inside.

i don't understand people like that, i feel if you make your own bed then lie in it. thats what i do..... the only person i have to blame for my mistakes is myself and one of these days i might even be able to correct a few. i feel like i've made a small start talking to my ex, hes such a good guy, not that i had forgot that, just couldn't get him to talk to me for awhile :) but thats ok, he is now.

in the end only kindness matters....
and really, its between you and "your" god, isn't it?

[[Lorrellie Walks Alone On This Endless Road]]*|11:05 PM|

[[*The Fading Soul*]]

My name is Lorrellie.
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Hell, I don't even know myself.
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I'm quite lost.

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Lilith is the ancient Sumerian goddess, (and predecessor to Adam and Eve), the first feminist and liberationist, boldly helps us to stand up for what we believe in, unbridled and courageous no matter what the cost.
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