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Tuesday, September 13, 2005

[[a trip to my moms....]]

a trip to my moms....

well, i spent the day with my mother. i love my mother, she is a kind and gentle person. shes always been very loving and caring, i couldn't have asked for a better mom.
we had a really hard time as a child. my father was an alcholic. he made life unbearable at times, no not just at times, almost all the time. my mom did all she could to protect my brother and me.
finally, my dad became so unbearable, he left. (thats another story)
but when he left my mother, we had nothing, so she did the best she could. we had a roof over our heads and food to eat. and as i said before she loved us.
now she has Alzheimer's, she has good days, but then she has days she doesn't remember much. today was an odd day, she started out ok, but as the day went on, it got sorta bad. she told me my dad died , my father passed away over a year ago, she asked where her brother was, he passed away last year too, she also told me about that my grandmother died, that was in july, she told me these things about 10 times, at least.... its so hard, i have to hold my breath to keep from crying, watching her fade away from me, its one of the hardest things i've ever done.
i sometimes don't know what i'm gonna do. i feel like a lost little girl. i feel so alone. what do you do when your watching every thing fall apart?

[[Lorrellie Walks Alone On This Endless Road]]*|12:58 PM|

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