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Tuesday, February 14, 2006

[[fairy tales and happily ever after????]]

ok, j*~ says i live in a fairy tale world, he says i'm unrealistic about what i want out of a partner in life. i guess he might be right, but i, deep in my heart, don't think he is, i am a "hopeful" romantic. i think true love actually does exsist. i've seen it. my maternal grandparents where a wonderful example, they loved each other whole heartedly. they gave of themselfs to one another in every way possible. they were kind and loving, and always put the other one first. i guess thats a one in a million realtionship, but thats what i want. i am tired of settling. i love j*~, i will love him till the day i die, i want things to work, but i just don't see how its going to..... he can give of himself but not whole heartly, he has an addiction, as bad as any drugs or alchol, but his addiction is to women.
hes a hunter by nature, i know that, he can't help himself, he loves to hunt. but it goes beyond "bambi" . he likes to hunt women, not to hurt them, but he loves the thrill of the chase. he loves when he gets his hands on them. then he wants them to be "obssessed" with him. and usually has a few waiting in the wings. its his drug.
he's goodlooking and can be so charming, and he uses it to his advantage.
he says he loves me, and i do believe he does, we have so much history together we've become family,but i'm obviously not enough to make him happy. i've given all i have to give. my heart is broke, and i ache for this to all be over with.....
so i'm not sure where to go from here. but i have to go somewhere......

[[Lorrellie Walks Alone On This Endless Road]]*|10:50 PM|

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