sitting here at my computer, listening to the kids fans (white noise) and thinking just how quiet it is.......
i'm not used to it being so quiet, when j*~ is here the tv and EQ was always on until 12:30am or so. now its just quiet and i really don't know what to think.
i push my feelings behind and try to go on. but its not so easy. thank goodness i have friends to talk to, i sorta wish i had someone to spend the night (no i don't mean to have sex with, just so i wouldn't be alone).
i was doing pretty good this last week. i had gotten a handle on somethings and of course "the peyton place" where i work has started the rumor mill going. people who don't have anything to say to me are coming up to me asking me about my relationship. i must have given more crazy looks to people this last week than i have in my whole life.
how do you even justify an answer to a question from a person who talks about you like a dog behind your back.
most of the time i just take it for what it is, and let it go when i leave work, but some people have ALOT of gaul. (ok that or Hugh balls).
the casino was SOOOO busy this weekend, a guess everyone was feening to go gamble since we had 2 bad weather weekends in a row, we worked out butts off, but still i was feeling pretty good when i was getting ready to leave.
i turned to get my purse out of the podium, and 2 of the people i was relieving (giving breaks to) where talking.
opps they were taking about what a stupid f** i was for being so nice to j*~. they had a few more things to say before they realized i was standing there. the proverbial deer in the headlight look was given as they stopped, i guess to bite they're tongue.
i just looked at them and said "thanks for coming back, have a good weekend" and walked.....
one of them i don't really care about but the other i thought had enough respect for me not to talk about me, but to me if she wanted. i am so not a good judge of character, i let people walk on me all the time.....
i've always envied j*~'s way. he just doesn't care what people think. he could care less what they say.
i wish i couldn't have learned that from him....
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