sitting here at my computer, listening to the kids fans (white noise) and thinking just how quiet it is....... i'm not used to it being so quiet, when j*~ is here the tv and EQ was always on until 12:30am or so. now its just quiet and i really don't know what to think. i push my feelings behind and try to go on. but its not so easy. thank goodness i have friends to talk to, i sorta wish i had someone to spend the night (no i don't mean to have sex with, just so i wouldn't be alone). i was doing pretty good this last week. i had gotten a handle on somethings and of course "the peyton place" where i work has started the rumor mill going. people who don't have anything to say to me are coming up to me asking me about my relationship. i must have given more crazy looks to people this last week than i have in my whole life. how do you even justify an answer to a question from a person who talks about you like a dog behind your back. most of the time i just take it for what it is, and let it go when i leave work, but some people have ALOT of gaul. (ok that or Hugh balls). the casino was SOOOO busy this weekend, a guess everyone was feening to go gamble since we had 2 bad weather weekends in a row, we worked out butts off, but still i was feeling pretty good when i was getting ready to leave. i turned to get my purse out of the podium, and 2 of the people i was relieving (giving breaks to) where talking. opps they were taking about what a stupid f** i was for being so nice to j*~. they had a few more things to say before they realized i was standing there. the proverbial deer in the headlight look was given as they stopped, i guess to bite they're tongue. i just looked at them and said "thanks for coming back, have a good weekend" and walked..... one of them i don't really care about but the other i thought had enough respect for me not to talk about me, but to me if she wanted. i am so not a good judge of character, i let people walk on me all the time..... i've always envied j*~'s way. he just doesn't care what people think. he could care less what they say. i wish i couldn't have learned that from him....
Lilith is the ancient Sumerian goddess,
(and predecessor to Adam and Eve),
the first feminist and liberationist, boldly
helps us to stand up for what we believe
in, unbridled and courageous no matter
what the cost.
Lilith inspires us not to judge our opposite
sex, to respect them as our equal, and to
nurture equality in our environment.
Reconnect with Lilith at www.goddess.com.au
